Less Angry Sounding

I posted something yesterday, but I don't think I was very effective in getting my intended point across. Let's see if I have better luck this time.

First of all, I got an awesome call from Dawn today telling me how much everyone loves and supports me no matter what. It was very touching and I appreciated the call a lot. I've also gotten a couple calls lately from Deena which has been cool too. Sometimes I forget how many cool sisters I have.

Anyways, my point in saying what I said yesterday (and my apologies if you didn't get a chance to read it) was a backwards attempt to get you guys to stand up for me when the rumors start flying about my non-temple wedding.

A quick story: When I got home from my mission I found out that Bob Carelson and his family had left the church. I talked to lots of members about their departure, and most of them didn't have anything good to say about Bob and his family. The general consensus was that they had been offended by something and left.

A few months later I decided to actually talk to Bob himself (what an idea, right?) to see what had motivated him to take those steps. Turned out it wasn't the bishop, or something offensive that had happened. Bob had good reasons for doing what he did, and he and his family seemed happy for doing so.

I know my family doesn't sit around and talk about me, but at the same time I know that in the LDS community certain assumptions are made about apostates or inactives. Today in Sunday school for example (yes, I went to Sunday school!) we decided to make a list of reasons why people harden their hearts, or leave the church. The list looked something like this:

1. They get offended
2. They are too proud
3. They stop reading their scriptures
4. etc.

I felt like raising my hand and saying, "Maybe after years of prayer and study they simply no longer felt like the claims of the church held much water?" but I decided it was too long to write out on the board.

If you look at the list though, you'll see that they all reflect poorly on the apostate. Sometimes I feel like Bob though. I feel like I have good personal reasons for believing and thinking what I do, and that I reached those conclusions the same way an LDS person reaches theirs; through study and prayer.

I know you guys love and support me, and I feel really lucky to have you all in my life. I also know there are a lot of people who might be unfamiliar with the situation who are going to jump to conclusions about my decisions. I hope you'll stand up for me, and not try to categorize me into one of the convenient apostate groups. If someone wants to know why I'm not getting married in the temple, give them my number and tell them to ask me themselves! :-)

And I guess I'd challenge you all to stand up for people like me next time you're in a meeting like the one I was in today. Raise you hand and say something like, "My brother/son has changed the way he feels about the church, but he's still a good person and we still love him no matter what." Maybe your comment will go against the grain a little bit, but sometimes the truth does that. :-)